For My Son and My Daughter-in-law
At the Wedding of Derek and Tina Lam
Ephesians 5:21-33; Romans 12:9-18
By Pastor Brian
Crystal Ballroom at the Rice
Houston, Texas
2015.06.28
13 minutes
Introduction
Derek and Tina, congratulations on this most joyous occasion. After months of preparation, this day has finally come.
Tina, you are so beautiful both inside and outside. Lily and I are so excited having you as our daughter-in-law.
Derek, we are so proud of you. You know that. You have been a fine fine son.
Thank you for inviting me to speak from the Word of God at your wedding. I consider this to be the highest honor a pastor's kid gives to his father for which I am extremely grateful.
Six months ago, you came and asked me, "Dad, what is a marriage? What is the eternal value in spending all these times and money to have a Christian wedding? What is the purpose of God for all of these?"
Today, let us hear from the Word of God in answering these questions.
I. The Cultural Mandate
In Genesis 2, God created man and woman in His image. He said, "a man shall leave his father and his mother, and cling to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (v. 24). This definition of marriage is repeated another 4 times in the Bible whenever the topic of marriage is brought up (Matthew 19:5; March 10:8; 1 Corinthians 6:16; Ephesians 5:31).
Therefore a marriage according to the Bible is
- Leave your father and mother, becoming independent as a new family unit
- Glue to your wife, sticking together as one couple, inseparable, always together in sickness or in health
- Become one flesh physically, emotionally, and spiritually. One husband, one wife; one male, one female, one marriage; one purpose, one goal, one faith, and one God
This is the first purpose God has given to you as He has created you and made your husband and wife. We call this the cultural mandate.
To fill the earth means to fill the earth with human creation and civilization, not just procreation. It has the meaning of being fruitful, productive, developing and cultivating. To subdue is a strong word that means to assert your will to rule the earth and make it a beautiful place. Shine in the society and create.
God has called you both to be in the medical professions for a purpose. He wants you to make the world a better place. There are people hurting all over the place. Bring healing and comfort to them. Attend to their pains and aches. May your marriage fill the earth with God's healing power. God wants you to contribute to the creation of the world.
Don't let anyone tell you a good life is all you are looking for. God has a purpose for this world and you are called to be part of his plan. Aim high. Dare to climb the tallest mountain and be the best you can be in God's plan. To fill and subdue the earth.
II. The Gospel Mandate
The second purpose of your marriage is the Gospel Mandate. Jesus said to His followers, "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations." (Matthew 28:18-20)
Derek and Tina, both of you are blessed by God to have mentors and disciplers in your spiritual journeys, guiding you and encouraging you to follow Jesus. Now go and do likewise. Tell people about the Gospel and make disciples of all nations.
The word, Gospel, is a Greek term (ev-angelion). It distinguishes the Christian message from that of other religions. The gospel is the good news of what God has done to reach us. It is not advice about what we must do to reach God.
What is this good news? I want to share with you three aspects of this good news.
1. It is the good news of salvation.
God has entered the world in Jesus to offer us a salvation that we could not achieve for ourselves. The gospel is the good news of gracious acceptance. He paid the penalty for the rebellious life we do live.
We are not saved through our own moral character or performance. We are saved and accepted through Jesus. We are more flawed and sinful than we ever dared believe, yet we are more loved and accepted than we ever dared hope at the same time.
The gospel is, therefore, radically different from religion. Religion operates on the principle: “I obey and I do good, therefore I am accepted by God”. The gospel operates on the principle: “I am accepted by God through Jesus, therefore I obey and I do good.”
A lot of us think that we need to live like a Christian, morally good and acceptable, in order to be a Christian. No. We become a Christian first, we accept first. Then we live the life God wants us to live.
You are loved with an everlasting love. You are accepted by God. Therefore you do good. That the good news of Jesus Christ.
2. The gospel is the good news of changed lives.
In numerous places the Bible says that we are now entering into a new life. This new life refers to a new kind of living. The gospel is not just a truth that we affirm in our minds, it is also a reality we must experience and live in our life. The Gospel is going to transform us.
The passage you have chosen for your wedding, Romans 12:9-18, talks about this transformed life.
There are 26 commands in ESV version of the Bible. I have grouped them into 12 this afternoon.
1. Let love be without hypocrisy. v. 9a
Let love be sincere without self-deceit. Don't act and pretend. Every good deed must be from the heart.
2. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. v. 9b
When you hear about the Charleston church shooting, you just feel sick to the stomach. You hate the evil that is so wrong. When you hear the forgiveness extended by the victims' family members to the killer, you unite with them of what is good.
3. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; v. 10
Treat each other like a family member. Show each other honors and respect in the family of God.
4. Do not lag behind in diligence, fervent in spirit; v.11
Aglow and bubble in your spirit and passion in life. Derek, you were a happy boy with a beautiful smile. Growing up with asthma did not slow you down. Look at your childhood pictures. You were full of expressions and passion. The passion of life is in you. Tina, we all love your smiles and kind heart. So both of you, live your life to the fullest with diligence and passion. There is no limit of what you can do.
5. Rejoice in hope, persevere in tribulation, devoted to prayer, v.12
There will be dark time ahead. Let hope keep you joyful. Steadfast in affliction. In difficult times, remember God does answer prayer. Pray together as husband and wife will do you mighty good.
6. Contribute to the needs of the saints, practice hospitality. v. 13
Don't just live for yourselves. Set your life goal to better other's lives. It will give you joy and will pay huge dividends to your own life.
7. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. v. 14
Live in peace with people. Call on God to bestow His favor on your enemies. This is the Jesus' way.
8. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. v. 15
On social relationships, show genuine empathy with those benefiting or suffering from the ups and downs of life. They will become your best friends.
9. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be proud in mind, v. 16a
Both of you are very gentle persons by nature, not proud people. You have this good quality of listening to people's opinions first before you decide. Stay humble.
10. Do not be wise in your own estimation. v.16b
The formulation is in the plural form. It suggests a corporate self-esteem in mind, that of Jew over against Gentile or Chinese over against the rest of the world or Rice Owls over against the UT Longhorns. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
11. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. v. 17
It is uniquely Christian when you overcome evil with good. People know that the Gospel is true because you believe in forgiveness.
12. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. v.18
Be a peace-maker in every possible ways. Stay away from those who like to argue and instigate quarrels.
These twelve directives cannot be done in our own power. We don't live the life of a Christian by trying harder. We can only live this way by the transforming power of the Gospel. We were not like this before. We are who we are because of the Gospel.
3. The gospel is the good news of the new world coming. The plot-line of the Bible is:
1) God created the world,
2) The world and humanity fell into sin and decay,
3) But God sends his Son to redeem the world and create a new humanity, and
4) Eventually the whole world will be renewed. Death, decay, injustice, and suffering will be all removed. The best is still to come.
The gospel then is not just about individual happiness and fulfillment. It is not just a wonderful plan for ‘my life’ but a wonderful plan for the world. It is about the coming of God to renew everything. Gospel-centered couples do not only urge individuals to be converted, but also to seek peace and justice in our world.
These are the three important ‘perspectives’ on the gospel.
The first stresses the doctrinal content of the gospel. The second stresses the personal individual impact of the gospel. The third stresses the social impact of the gospel.
Derek and Tina, you in your marriage are to live out this Gospel to your family, to your colleagues, to your patients, and to your world. Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior of the world.
This is the purpose of your marriage.
Conclusion
The step you are above to take is a holy step. Marriage is sacred. It belongs to God. That’s why we want to do it His way. It can be done successfully only in the power of God.
Derek, Mom and I cannot be more proud of you. Not just about your accomplishments and your obedience as a son, but also your commitment to live out the Gospel in the power of God. "You are the beloved son for whom your mom and I are well-pleased." (Matt 3:17).
Tina, Lily and I would like to thank your parents for raising such a fine woman who are becoming our daughter-in-law. We love you so very much.
May the power of the Gospel be manifested in your lives through your marriage. May your home become the place where people hear the Gospel and see the living out of the Gospel. May your marriage accomplish God's purposes in you.
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